The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the bar
Not a Remnant was stirring
Not even Kadaj

Stockings were hung
By Turk chimneys with elation
That their boss, Rufus Shinra,
Had given them vacation

Marlene and Denzel
Were tucked away in their beds
While cactuars and moogle dolls
Danced in their heads

With Cloud and his pouting
And Vincent in a brood
Cid was prepared
To make the best of the mood

When all of a sudden
Tea spilled with a clatter
Weapons drawn they sprang up
To see what was the matter

And what should they see
Upon their roof, such a knave
But the legendary Sephiroth
Choosing eight little sex slaves

"Come Cloud and Zack
Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo
With Vincent and Cid
Oh, and Reno, you too."

With a sweep of his wing
He gathered his harem
Avalanche braced for a fight
Oh yes, Sephiroth, he dared them

Upon a stolen helicopter
He rose to the sky
Cloud looked as if
He might burst out and cry

The angel shouted to below
As they flew out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all
There'll be no sleeping tonight!"